Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
