mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Sponge bath it is.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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