Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
