All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
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I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Randomize