Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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