Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
