dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
So much rum. So many feels.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
