My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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