I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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