oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
