I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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