can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
