i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
