WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
