I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
