i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
