so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
