tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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