yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
How's work?
Spinning.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
