WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
