And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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