So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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