i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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