Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
