I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
