Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
