I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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