Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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