So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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