Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
