yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
