Do you still have your period?
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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