it hurts more in the daytime
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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