They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
