NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
