She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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