Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
