Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize