Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Randomize
