Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
