Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You had me at "let me see your balls"
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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