We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
