oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Be still, my beating vagina.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
