My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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