I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
