He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
did i just pee glitter
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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