ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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