OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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