I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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