I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
jump out the window naked night went bad
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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