can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
