After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
