hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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