Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
