If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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