I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
