i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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