i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
