Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
