I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
