you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
