oh god the rape fog is back!
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
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When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
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You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You are a genius and a whore.
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