I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
