ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I think weed is turning my hair brown
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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