I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
