He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
